Hey y’all. I just wanted to update you on my healing progress. Although I’m still not at 100%, I am making steady progress. My abdomen is still healing, and instead of feeling like a brand-new accordion when I stand, it feels like a used one…lol! I’m getting there. I’ve been walking these last couple of weeks, and for the most part, I’ve been doing pretty good. The other day, however, I got pretty winded after walking only 15 minutes, and I had to sit down. That was a first for me. The next day I was really, really tired, so I didn’t go for a walk, but I did get back out there today. I’m grateful for the progress, and I am so grateful for those of you who have called, texted, DM’d me, sent love offerings, and prayed for me. I just wanted to express my sincerest appreciation and let you know that I am doing just fine. See When the Caregiver Needs Caregiving
Enjoying the weather while out at the park.
Well, that’s it for now. I’ll keep ya posted. Prayerfully, it won’t be long before I’m back at full strength. Until next time…
If you’ve ever felt like you’re juggling a hundred things at once—caregiving, managing a household, chasing goals, staying strong for your family, trying to keep your body and mind in one piece—you’re in the right place.
I created Full Plate Femme because I am that woman. My plate is full… and then some. I’m a caregiver, a mother to an adult child, and a proud new grandmother. I mow my own lawn, love a good tech gadget that makes life easier, and recently started taking my health more seriously—mentally and physically. I’ve also been navigating a recent depression diagnosis, and I’m learning that asking for help, slowing down, and being honest about the hard stuff is not weakness—it’s strength.
This blog is where I’ll share:
Things that help me function, from helpful finds to daily routines
Moments of joy and frustration, because life is both
Tips and stories about caregiving, fitness, self-improvement, and tools that work
A little motivation, especially on the days when your plate feels too heavy to carry
You don’t have to do it all alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. Neither do I.
Let’s build something beautiful here—honest conversations, smart finds, and a space where women like us can exhale, recharge, and grow.
Caregiving doesn’t usually begin with a plan. For me, it started with small responsibilities that quietly grew into full days, full nights, and eventually a full life centered around someone else’s needs. I didn’t notice how tired I was becoming because exhaustion became normal.
Like many caregivers—whether new or seasoned—I told myself I’d rest later. I told myself I was fine. But over time, my body and mind told a different story.
This post is for both new and experienced caregivers—those just stepping into this role and those who have been carrying it for years. The tools shared here didn’t make caregiving easy, but they made it possible. They helped reduce strain, protect my health, and create moments of relief when rest wasn’t optional.
Before we begin, a quick note:
Disclosure:** Some links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I’ve personally used, trusted, or would recommend to someone I care about.
Here are some items for 🛏️ Comfort & Physical Recovery
Wedge Pillow Set – After long days and later during recovery, sleeping flat wasn’t an option. This allowed me to rest upright, breathe easier, and relieve pressure without constantly readjusting. I also slept in a recliner, yet this is helpful for sleeping upright, post-surgery recovery, and reducing strain on the back and chest. (https://amzn.to/4aoYUqZ)
XL Weighted Heating Pad – I use this for my dad. I was advised no heat or ice after my bilateral mastectomy surgery, but, it comes in handy for my dad who has a lot of shoulder, back, and knee pain. (https://amzn.to/4kncEaf)
Cooling Eye Mask / Migraine Cap – When stress migraines became daily, this was one of the simplest ways to bring relief without medication or stimulation. It’s definitely essential for stress-induced headaches and sensory overload. (https://amzn.to/3MisGFI)
Foot Massager – After being on my feet all day, this is one of my favorites and definitely gets the job done! I sit in my chair in the evening and slip my feet in and let it do it’s magic! Although I’ve tried others, nothing compares and it was money well spent! (https://amzn.to/4a51kMl)
🧠 Mental & Emotional Support Items
Guided Journal for Caregivers – This gives me a place to unload thoughts I don’t feel comfortable saying out loud—grief, resentment, fear, and guilt—without judgment all goes down in one of these. (https://amzn.to/3O1zJTH)
Noise-Canceling Headphones – Silence is rare because my dad’s tv is always super loud! LOL! These come in handy for my therapy sessions, quiet moments of meditation, or just listening to some good music. (https://amzn.to/3Mw1Fyy)
Blue Light Blocking Glasses – Working remotely while caregiving meant long screen hours for me. I wish I’d had these during that time. These are especially helpful for caregivers working remotely or late nights on screens. (https://amzn.to/3ZstryW)
I used the gray pair when I worked remotely because it has a microphone. The red and black pair I use when I am doing yard work and working out.
Below are several of the items that I own and use that I have referenced .
Now honestly, I believe I have undiagnosed ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) that has fully manifested in my 40’s because when I tell you that how chaotic things were before I discover organizers (of many sorts)…Chile please! Below are just a few essentials that have come in handy for me.
🧴 Daily Caregiver Essentials
Weekly or Monthly Medication Organizer – This helps me to keep my dad’s med’s all in one place removing the stress of trying to remember and go through multiple bottles of prescriptions. I also have one for my med’s and supplements. It helps to minimize mistakes and reduce mental overload.(https://amzn.to/4a1Uh7a)
Portable File Organizer – I actually already had 2 file cabinets, so that’s where I keep my dad’s records since we live in the same home, however, this could be handy for other caregivers to store medical records, insurance paperwork, and notes in one place along with taking it with them if you don’t live in the same household. (https://amzn.to/4rXuT8T)
Disposable Underpads & Skin Barrier Products – Although my father is disable, it is important to me that he maintains his dignity. Before the V.A. started provided these for my dad, I ordered from Amazon. I also just order some yesterday because we were running low and Prime delivers faster than the V.A. These are practical, dignity-preserving tools that make home care more manageable without constant cleanup or discomfort. (https://amzn.to/4rIqPsV)
Caregiver Logbook – I actually created this to help track daily habits for my dad. It’s very helpful and I hope you find the value in it too for your loved one or patient. (https://amzn.to/4amcong)
Organization didn’t make caregiving easier—but it made it manageable. When your brain is tired, having systems in place certainly matter.
Which is why my favorite item to date is this handy A.I. note taking voice recorder that transcribes and summarizes! I love that is simplifies things for me when the V.A. is calling and I am trying to remember all the details to relay to my dad if he’s napping, along with other things going on in my life.
Now these are just a few items I thought of that I know can make your life a lot easier and have been helpful to me. Just trying to help remove a little bit off your full plate one thing at a time. There are so many more items, but we can talk about them another time.
Caregiving can feel isolating, but none of us are meant to do this alone.
If you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear from you:
What tools have helped you the most as a caregiver?
What do you wish someone had told you earlier?
Share in the comments. Your experience may help someone else feel less alone.
Caregiving is invisible labor. Accepting tools, systems, and support does not make you weak—it makes you sustainable. If something here lightens your load even slightly, it has done its job.
With love, rest, and caregiving essentials, Daphne Full Plate Femme
There’s a strange quiet that comes when the person everyone depends on has to stop.
For six years, I have been a caregiver. Not the kind that clocks in and out, but the kind that becomes the default—physically, mentally, emotionally. I’ve managed appointments, medications, meals, hygiene, haircuts, lawn care, paperwork, and everything in between for my dad. I learned how to do things I never imagined I’d be responsible for, and I did them without complaint because love doesn’t ask for applause.
But love does take a toll.
Somewhere along the way, I became very good at pushing through. Fatigue became normal. Pain became background noise. Rest became something I’d “get to later.” And later kept getting postponed because there was always someone else who needed me more.
Until my body needed me.
I didn’t end up in the hospital because I was careless or reckless. I ended up there because I was resilient for too long. Because I kept showing up while quietly disappearing from myself.
After being previously diagnosed with Depression, I found my way back to me. Due to the challenges of not having reliable help, I was limited in finding work with a manageable living wage and a job gap, which was new territory for me. In addition, I was now faced with ageism, something I’d never experienced before either. So I pivoted and found an entry position in tech and surprisingly I loved it! Why? Because I had fallen in love with caring for Seniors and this job allowed me to do so remotely. So after a year, I was promoted, and when I got the call confirming it and going over a few details, I was told that it was paying less than what was advertised……………..skkkkkkkkkkrtttttt Say what nie? (yes, that was on purpose because wth!)
It made no sense! I struggled with moving forward with training, because I enjoyed my job so much, because what choice did I have, the bills weren’t gonna pay themselves and my previous manager kept putting up roadblocks every time I posted out (5 times). I was bored in my current position and I just didn’t want to be on his team anymore because I felt like he was blocking my growth, but, that’s a completely different story that I may elaborate on later. At any rate, when I questioned my new manager about the pay difference, I was asked if I had proof of what was previously offered. The audacity was alarming. It didn’t make sense why I was being burdened with providing the proof of the job posting that HR is responsible for.
I begrudgingly moved forward with the 2 weeks of training, and although I loved what I was learning, the lack of integrity that was being displayed from my former employer was weighing heavy on me and I became physically ill. I was already having migraines and going back and forth to the doctor, then they increased terribly and they were occurring everyday! It was brutal!
And yes, I was still taking care of my dad through ALL of this. I took a leave of absence and reached out to a new therapist. She was great and helped guide me to face some hard things. I finally made my decision to resign because I couldn’t get past the lack of integrity that was being displayed and this new pain that my body was feeling. My body ached ALL over! Being aware that I had a routine mammogram coming up I wanted to make sure I got all of my big appointments out of the way before I submitted my resignation. On 07/16/25 I had my mammogram, a week later a biopsy. I submitted my resignation on 07/24/25. On Friday, 08/01, I got an email saying that my test results were in…CANCER. I sat at my computer completely STUNNED into silence, my heart racing, and filled with unbelief.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Writing that sentence still feels surreal. Not because I don’t accept it—but because I now understand it as information, not punishment. My body didn’t betray me. It spoke to me. And it spoke loudly enough that I could no longer ignore it.
For a long time, I believed caregiving meant self-sacrifice. I believed being strong meant being silent. I believed love required depletion. What I’m learning now is that none of those beliefs are sustainable.
Healing is not just happening to me—it’s something I am choosing.
I am healing physically, yes. But I am also healing the part of me that thought rest had to be earned. The part of me that believed asking for help was weakness. The part of me that thought I could indefinitely pour from an empty cup.
Being on the other side of care—receiving it instead of giving it—has been humbling. It has forced me to sit still. To listen. To accept support without explaining myself or minimizing my needs. And that might be the hardest lesson of all.
This post is not an ending. It’s not a dramatic reveal. It’s a marker.
A moment where I acknowledge that even caregivers need caregiving. That strength doesn’t mean invincibility. That love for others should never come at the expense of love for self.
If you’re reading this and you are tired—truly tired—this is your reminder: your body keeps the score. Listen before it has to scream.
My SONshine visiting while I was still in recovery.
I’m still healing and recovering, taking it one day at a time. Forced to sit still—and I smile because I’m grateful. The cancer was caught early, while I still had insurance. My story could have been so different. God, I thank You.
Today was my first day outside for a walk, slowly working on getting my stamina back. That 10-hour surgery certainly took a lot out of me. But I smile, because even though I still have a ways to go before I’m fully recovered, I can rest in the knowing that my healing is already on the way.
Caregiving is one of those things you don’t fully understand until you’re in it—deep in the day-to-day, the heart-heavy moments, the quiet routines, and the exhaustion that doesn’t just live in your body… it settles in your spirit.
My dad can’t do much for himself anymore. He can’t wipe his face. He can’t blow his nose. I’m the one who does all of that—and more. I bathe him. I shave him. I change his diapers. I give him his meds. I cut his hair (see my bootleg barbershop below). I trim his nails, toes, and eyebrows. You name it! I make sure he’s clean, fed, comfortable, and safe. And I do it with love… because that’s my daddy, and I love him.
And while he may no longer have control over his physical body, one of the greatest gifts I still have is that his mind is strong. He’s mentally clear, sharp, and still the wise, witty man I’ve always known. We talk. We laugh. We reflect. And those conversations? They’re sacred to me.
🌪️ The Part People Don’t See
But let me be real: this is hard. I don’t have reliable help, at least I haven’t in the past, and we’ve gone through soooooo many aides. However, at the moment we do have an aide that is truly wonderful. Lord knows I have been praying for reliability! Anyway, when I was without help, and those periods of time could span up to a year, or 6 months here or there, I didn’t get to clock out. There were no shift changes, no backup caregiver waiting in the wings. It was me—day in and day out.
Sure, I have a couple of friends I can vent to, but they don’t walk in my shoes. They care, and I’m grateful—but they can’t truly feel the weight of this role. That’s why I created this space… to speak to the women who know this life. Who feels it. Who live it, too.
👩🏽🔧 I’m Betty Crocker, Barbara the Builder, and the Accountant
My best friend calls me “Barbara the Builder.” Why? Because I’m the one figuring it all out. Fixing what’s broken. Patching what’s leaking—physically, emotionally, and financially. My dad thinks I’m Betty Crocker‘s protégé, a superhero, his bookkeeper, hislandscaper (see my lawnmower below), his everything… and honestly, most days I am
But sometimes, I want to shout, “I’m tired!” Then I remind myself that if he were able to do it, he would. So, I manage to find a way to get things done instead.
💛 The Love That Keeps Me Here
Still… I wouldn’t trade this. Because I know in my heart: no one else would care for my dad the way I do. No one would treat him with the dignity, the gentleness, and the sacred attention I bring to him every single day.
This role, though exhausting, is also an extension of my purpose. I love serving others—it’s written into who I am. And I’m proud of the care I give. I just know… I need to get better at caring for myself, too.
🔁 Learning to Find Balance
Finding balance is the next mountain I’m learning to climb. Not just physically—but emotionally and mentally. Because when you’re everything for someone else, it’s easy to forget you’re someone, too.
Right now, that balance might look like this:
Setting boundaries around my availability
Combing my hair or scheduling a hair appointment
Carving out small, sacred moments of stillness
Letting go of the guilt when I say “not right now” or “give me a few minutes.”
Asking for help… even when I don’t think anyone understands
Taking a minute to dance…or line step!
✨ Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this and nodding because you get it, please know: I see you. I’m with you. You’re not invisible, and you’re not alone. Even on the days when you feel broken down and stretched too thin.
This blog isn’t just for me—it’s for us. The ones carrying full plates and full hearts. The ones trying to be everything to everyone… while learning to be someone to ourselves, too.
With strength, love, and a little bit of Barbara the Builder energy, Daphne Full Plate Femme
